Friends Like These 2: A Sex n' Stuff Holiday
by Flames101
Summary: Jotch. Their best friend's are at it again. Garcia and Rossi take it upon themselves to organize the BAU's holiday gift exchange. But it isn't your every year average type of Secret Santa. Nope. All presents must come from their favorite shop: Sex n' Stuff.-Sequel to Friends Like These. Written for the Smut Challenge Group's X-mas Challenge on Facebook. Rated M for Chapter 2 on.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey all! Friends Like These 2: A Sex n' Stuff Holiday was written for the Smut Challenge Group's (on Facebook) 2014 X-mas Challenge. And as the title implies this is a sequel to Friends Like These. While you don't necessarily have to read the first one to get the gist of this one, I will make references to the original, so I hope you'll check it out.

Anyways… my chosen pairing is, what else, JJ/Hotch. And it will be smutty. My assigned X-mas items are: candy canes, sleigh bells, and a rabbit (yes, a vibrator, lol).

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 1:**

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><p>The sound of crinkling wrapping paper wasn't a welcoming one. Not this Christmas. At least not at this particular moment, a few days away from the actual day.<p>

Hotch let the wrapping paper fall to the floor, his eyes following it.

To be fair, his sense of discomfort wasn't the festive paper's fault. Still, he couldn't help staring at it accusingly. It was that, or stare at what he'd uncovered. And he so didn't want to do that.

"Oh my…" A delighted giggle followed, catching his attention. He made the mistake of glancing over at what had pleased his girlfriend so.

_Big mistake._ JJ was holding a medium-sized box with the word 'Rabbit' emblazoned in big bold letters.

_No._ He did not want to know. Hotch looked away quickly before he got an idea of what a 'Rabbit' was for exactly.

"This is completely inappropriate," he grumbled.

JJ let out an exasperated sounding sigh. "Oh, I don't know. I think this could be a lot of fun. Did you even look at what you unwrapped?"

"No! Why would I?" She shot him an obvious look which he ignored. "Besides, it's from Dave. I only have to use my imagination to know that I don't want to know."

She gave him a wry smile. "I don't think that makes any sense."

He waved a hand in the air dismissing the little detail. "All I know is, I don't want to know… Who thought it would be a good idea to do a not-very-secret Secret Santa where the gifts all had to come from Garcia and Rossi's favorite store, anyways?"

"You mean Sex n' Stuff?" JJ teased, causing him to wince. "Oh, you're blushing! You can be so cute sometimes, Aaron!" Hotch wasn't sure he appreciated her patronizing tone. "Besides, it's not like you've been there—oh wait! That's right, you _have_."

She giggled some more, clearly enjoying herself at his expense. "That was… I was dragged there, remember?"

"Oh, I remember. I also remember the _both_ of us enjoying our parting gifts quite a bit."

JJ had him there. If he closed his eyes, he could recount in vivid detail the piece of edible lingerie Garcia had gifted her. Red velvet flavor, consequently, now his favorite dessert. His gift from Rossi was a box of fluorescent-colored condoms that, it turned out, glowed in the dark. A neat little feature, if he said so himself.

"Regardless of whether I did or did not enjoy the products from Sex n' Stuff—"

"That better be a 'did,'" she said sternly, cutting him off.

"Ok, ok, _did_ enjoy them. Regardless of that, Cruz will have my head when he realized I sanctioned a sex-shop Secret Santa."

JJ shrugged her shoulders. "No, he won't," she said innocently enough, except she wouldn't meet his eyes as she said it.

Alarm bells rang in his head, along with a big 'Uh oh!'

"What do you mean, he won't?" he asked ever so carefully. "JJ… how do you know?"

"Uh…" she continued; she began to fiddle with the packaging of the Rabbit, whatever that was, still not meeting his gaze. "I… may or may not have invited him to participate."

"What?" His eyes bugged out of his head.

"_What?_ We had an uneven number of participants," she said by way of explanation. "I think he pulled Penelope's name out of the hat… He was asking me all these questions about her. I think he was trying to get a feel for what Pen likes in—"

"Nah uh!" he cut her off quickly. He in no way wanted to know what his technical analyst's sexual preferences were. There was such a thing as boundaries. And his team was quickly forgetting that. "It is way past time for another sexual harassment seminar. When was the last one? Whatever. We need to schedule one ASAP."

"Aaron!" JJ protested, scandalized—_she_ was the one who was scandalized? How the heck was he supposed to look Cruz in the face knowing he bought Garcia a sex toy? "This isn't sexual harassment!"

"Close enough!"

JJ huffed out her irritation. "Fine. You know what, the boys are at Jessica's for the night and I, for one, fully intend on using this night to enjoy my present. Join me or not, it's up to you!"

_Whoops!_ Hotch lamented. Maybe he'd protested a tad too much, he thought as he watched his girlfriend's retreating back. After all, if Cruz was ok with it then who was he to judge?

He let out a sigh. So he was a little skittish about unconventional sex practices, so sue him. Hailey hadn't exactly been into experimenting—missionary was the standard back in the old Hotchner household.

And he'd barely seen Beth enough to even dream of trying something new—anyways, he'd been so in love with JJ at the time, he didn't think he would have wanted to even if it had come up.

So, yeah, he didn't have much experience with thinking outside of the box.

_**Speaking of boxes…**_ He was still holding Rossi's present and had yet to see what it was.

_**Oh just get it over with. It can't be that bad. And then you can join your girlfriend. JJ's right; with the kids away we can enjoy some prime, uninhibited time together.**_

_Fine,_ he agreed with himself. _But if Dave bought me the penis enlarger, I'll kill him._

_**He wouldn't… On second thought… Permission granted, just in case.**_

Shaking himself out of his split-personality conversation—totally Dave and Penelope's fault. They'd broken him—he looked down into his lap at what Dave had purchased for him this time around. He let out a sigh of relief. Another box of condoms. This time flavored. A variety box; he noted that one was red velvet flavored.

Hotch was more than relieved to not see the enhancer, but at the same time… _Another box of condoms?_ Was he that much of a stick-in-the-mud that his mischievous best friend, with the unholy imagination, couldn't think of anything else to buy him from a store with a plethora of ideas?

Pushing that thought aside, he—unwisely—ripped open the envelope to read the card inside. A cute little penguin in a Santa hat wished him a Merry Christmas. _So wrong._ Inside, the note read:

**Hotch!**

**Enjoy, you old stick-in-the-mud, you!**

**Dave.**

"Gah!" he yelped at the psychic message, dropping the card to the floor.

_**Get a hold of yourself, man; you, my friend, have had way too much wine tonight.**_

_My friend? Aren't you me?_

_**Yeah… So?**_

_So, how can you be my friend? _Hotch demanded to know.

_**Would you rather I was your enemy?**_

_No…_

_**Ok, so stop arguing with yourself. Put one of those on and go sex up your girlfriend!**_

_Are you sure you're not Dave?_

_**Sheesh, now you're starting to sound crazy. Do I have to say it again? Stop talking to the imaginary voice in your head and get a move on. Hear that, JJ's about ready for you.**_

Come to think of it, in the time he'd taken to go psycho, he'd begun to hear some progressively louder noises coming from the back of their apartment.

The voice that sounded suspiciously like his best friend—he knew a deflective answer when he heard one—was right. He needed to get his butt in gear. And fast.

This wasn't a regular, candy-cane, sleigh bells type of holiday. Not this year. Nope, it was going to be a full on, Sex n' Stuff Christmas.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed this first chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Lol. I'll try to have the actual smut part up by tonight.<p>

Let me know what you think! (A review or two for Christmas, please :) ).

Merry Christmas everyone!

**The 2014 PROFILER'S CHOICE CRIMINAL MINDS FANFIC AWARDS are back! Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us in celebrating the best of the best CM stories for the annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards! Help us and let your voices be heard. Please check out the nomination ballot and rules at the****ProfilerChoiceAwards2014 Forum**** (Direct Link also in my profile). All rules and information are on the forum. Nominations begin November 15 and are due December 31st.** **Good Luck! **As an added bonus: **We encourage all nominations (rules permitted). We accept ballots starting at two nominations, however, all ballots with five or more nominations will be entered into a drawing for one of three Amazon gift cards. Nominations run until 11:59EST on December 31, 2014. The final ballot will be published in early January 2015.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hey guys! So sorry for the wait! Many factors have contributed to the lateness of this update… I've been, along with my fellow moderators, working hard on the Final Ballot for the **2014 Profiler's Choice Awards (it's up and ready to be voted on. Details are down below**). Also, took some time to prepare for a job interview (didn't get it, sigh). And overall, have had some major writer's block with all my stories (what's new?). So, yeah… that's where I'm at these days. But, you don't care about that… You might care about this chapter. Lol. I'll tell you it's very **rated R. So, please no one under the age of 18…** (The NC-17 version is on TWCS and the M-rated is on fanfiction . net). Other than that, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 2:**

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><p>"Oh God…" JJ groaned out.<p>

Throwing her head back against the pillows she'd piled up behind her, she'd known in advance that she'd need the extra support to hold her up. JJ pressed, her new toy, the Rabbit, to her covered center, letting the vibrator do its job.

While Aaron was struggling with his conscious, she'd decided to get a head start on the fun. She'd left the majority of her clothes on, only stripping down her bottom half down to her lace panties. They didn't leave much to the imagination either way. And she was hoping that once Aaron got over himself he'd do the honors of finishing her off.

But from the way she was trembling already, she wasn't sure that was going to be likely.

Increasing the speed just a tad, she ran the tip of it along her covered folds, imagining it was Aaron all the while. She pressed it down on herself a little harder. "Ah… yes…"

"Very nice," came Aaron's voice.

JJ paused her motions, but did not remove the device. Opening her eyes, she saw that Hotch was standing in the doorway to their master bedroom. His eyes had a glazed look; he'd been watching her for a bit, and he more than liked what he was seeing. Propped against the doorframe to their master bedroom, arms crossed over his chest, he looked, for all the world, like he was just going to stand there.

"Don't just stand there, get over here," she urged breathlessly. He was here now; she didn't need the Rabbit anymore.

He shook his head, confusing her. "You're doing a fine enough job on your own, don't you think? It would be a shame to let Garcia's gift go to waste. Besides…" He paused, letting one eyebrow rise up in a look of mischievousness. "I like watching you."

"Oh God," she moaned out, unprepared for how much that revelation turned her on.

Hotch crawled on to the bed, inching closer, he placed something on their nightstand, but she only had eyes for him. She watched him in anticipation, even though he'd said he just wanted to watch her.

JJ left her legs open for his perusal, as he knelt before her. He reached out his hands and for one moment, she thought he'd forgotten all about the Rabbit.

No such luck.

Instead of reaching for her, his hands went to the band of the scrap of lace that covered her.

"I think…" he began, pulling the lace down her legs. "… these are in the way. Don't you?"

Her heart raced as his hands slid the material down her legs, skimming every inch of her smooth skin. His hands came to rest on each of her knees, pulling them apart slightly. He bent forward, only to place a kiss on the inside of her thigh that sent tingles straight up to her core.

"Aaron, please," she cried out, frustrated beyond hell.

Hotch chuckled darkly. Who knew he had this teasing side to him?

"Uh uh…You were in the middle of something when I rudely interrupted." She gave him a pout which he proceeded to ignore. "Continue."

She made a show of sighing long-sufferingly, like pleasing herself with the vibrator was the last thing she wanted to do. It wasn't. But, it wasn't the first thing she wanted to do either. That honor lay with the man before her.

So, she began to move the Rabbit all around herself, letting the vibrations take her close to the edge. At one point, she dipped the tip of the tool in between her now very wet folds earning her a hiss of pleasure from her significant other.

"Oh…" she heard Aaron mutter. She opened her eyes just a bit to see that at some point during her self-pleasuring, he'd pulled his cock out of his pants and had his hand wrapped around it. "Don't stop," he said, when she'd hesitated.

Seeing what the sight of her was doing to him, she dipped the vibrator into her folds further, picturing it as the genuine article.

"_Fuck_, JJ… that is hot…" he breathed out harshly.

She nodded, pushing the imitator in and out of her as she watched her boyfriend continue to take care of himself. "That goes double for you… Aaron."

He leaned forward kissing her hungrily. "I want you…"

"I thought you'd never ask," she groaned out, dropping the Rabbit on the bed.

She reached for him, stripping him of his sweater and undershirt; he did away with his pants and underwear and then reached for her, baring her torso for his wandering hands.

Eager and impatient, JJ pushed Aaron down to the bed, determined to take charge. She straddled his hips, ready to lower herself over his erect member. Before she did so, a thought hit her.

"What did Rossi get you?" she questioned.

"See for yourself," he said, turning his head to the side. She followed his line of sight, seeing the box he'd placed on the nightstand when he'd come in earlier.

JJ leaned forward to grab the box off the table, putting her breasts in prime range of Hotch's talented mouth. Aaron sucked a nipple into his mouth, causing her to gasp out her surprise. "Aaron!"

She placed her free hand on the bed close to his head, holding herself up as he sucked on her. With the other, she brought the box up to her face for closer inspection.

"Ah… Condoms?"

Hotch pulled off her to correct, "Flavored condoms."

She took her eyes off them, but not before noting the Cheetos flavored one, and looked down at Hotch. "Still, I'm kind of disappointed in Dave. I thought he'd get you something a little more…"

"Crazy?" he offered helpfully, reaching up to push her long blonde hair behind an ear.

She shot him a wry look. "I was going to say 'exotic,' but yeah…"

Hotch smiled, hand skimming down her body as if he couldn't help but touch her. "Believe it or not, I thought the same thing when I unwrapped the box."

She believed it. Hotch had a kinky side, earlier was evidence of that. "Oh well, they'll still come in handy," she said, grinning.

"You saw the Cheeto-flavored one, didn't you?"

"Yep!"

He laughed. "Well then, why don't you give it a try?"

She let out a squeal of delight and ripped into the box. The little foil packets were color-coded for convenience. JJ spotted an orange colored foil and tore into it.

Leaning back over his knees, she unrolled the orange-tinted condom. She couldn't wait. It was ridiculous really, but here she was about to combine two of her favorite things in the world: sex and Cheetos. She chuckled, as she reached for his cock. He was so hard; she knew he wasn't far from coming.

"You sure you can take this?" she wondered out loud.

"I can hold on," he assured her.

But when she slid it into place he shook so hard, she knew it was taking every inch of self-control to hold off.

A quick taste was all she had time for, she presumed. Luckily, Rossi had splurged on the economy-size box. There were more cheesy-flavored condoms to be had. She'd taste him, screw him, and then have some more. She thanked the Gods for the Sex n' Stuff shop, officially her new favorite store.

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><p>So, there's this chapter for you. Sorry to cut it short. That's all my muse decided to stick around for today. Hopefully there's more to come soon.<p>

Thanks for reading. And thanks to those who reviewed: **jayjrat; Christiangirl; Treacle; and Cloudrider57.**

And now for the 2014 Profiler's Choice Awards; please vote!:

**The 2014 PROFILER'S CHOICE CRIMINAL MINDS FANFIC AWARDS Final Ballot is up! Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us in celebrating the best of the best CM stories nominated by you, the readers! Let your voices be heard. Please check out the Final Ballot and rules at the****ProfilerChoiceAwards2014 Forum**** (Direct Link also in my profile). All rules and information are on the forum. The Final round of voting ends February 16, 2015.**


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